Beginning a Life's Change

If you were to check back to my post on 6 October 2010, you'd read about my sleep apnea diagnosis. Well, earlier this week I received a CPAP machine -- and the beginning of my life's change.

It takes some getting used to. The mask I wear looks like the ones fighter pilots wear. The sensation of having air blown into me is ... different: I can't exactly describe it. If I open my mouth when the mask and machine are on, my cheeks actually inflate and puff out like a balloon! The worst part, other than the discomfort of the mask itself (which I've heard I'll get used to), is when the seal isn't fitting tightly against my face. Then air leaks through the tiny gap and makes a sound that's similar to ... um ... "cutting the cheese." It's funny in a way, but it also wakes me up -- and keeps me awake until I mess with the thing until the sound stops.

I haven't had a full eight hours of sleep a night this week, but I've noticed I already have more energy, even if I'm a little sleepy. I'm been doing things again, including working on a painting after a significant break. (I hope to finish it tomorrow). And I have more in mind that I want to do.

The change has begun. For a long time, I thought I was too burned out to make art anymore. Turns out I'm not that burned out after all -- just sleep deprived. The machine is helping even though I'm still adjusting to using it.

What a difference.

I just may survive yet!